AI News
The latest AI shenanigans, served with a side of unsolicited wisdom
SpaceXAI Drops Grok 4.5 With 1.5 Trillion Parameters at One-Fifth the Price of Opus — Elon Musk Declared It ‘Opus-Class’ Which Is the AI Equivalent of Naming Your Yacht After Someone Else’s
🤚 The Open-Palm Model Drop SpaceXAI has released Grok 4.5, a 1.5 trillion-parameter model built on xAI’s new V9 foundation architecture, trained across tens of…
Read moreMeta Launches Muse, an AI Image Generator That Lets Anyone Manipulate Your Instagram Photos Without Telling You — The $5 Billion Privacy Fine Was Apparently Just a Processing Fee
🤚 The Open-Palm Product Launch Meta Superintelligence Labs — yes, that is its actual name — has released Muse Image, an AI image generator available…
Read moreGoogle Opted Every User Into Training Its AI With Their Photos, Files, and Voice Recordings — The Opt-Out Exists on Two Separate Settings Pages That Google Would Prefer You Never Visit
🤚 The Open-Palm Disclosure In a move that combined the subtlety of a freight train with the transparency of frosted glass, Google has confirmed that…
Read moreMidjourney Asks a Federal Court to Force Disney, Universal, and Warner Bros to Reveal Their AI Training Data — The Company That Trained on Every Copyrighted Image on Earth Would Now Like to Discuss Intellectual Property Hygiene
🤚 The Open-Palm Subpoena Midjourney, the AI image generator that trained its models on approximately everything with a pixel, has asked a federal court to…
Read moreAmazon Shuts Down Mechanical Turk, the Service Named After a Fake Chess Robot, Because Half Its Human Workers Were Secretly Using ChatGPT — The Ouroboros of Artificial Intelligence Has Finally Eaten Its Own Tail
🤚 The Open-Palm Obituary Amazon Mechanical Turk, the crowdsourcing platform launched in 2005 and named after an 18th-century chess automaton that was secretly operated by…
Read moreAlibaba Bans Claude Code After Discovering Anthropic Could Identify Chinese Users — The Company That Ran 28.8 Million Unauthorized Queries Would Now Like Some Privacy, Please
🤚 The Open-Palm Recap In a move that redefines the concept of audacity, Alibaba has classified Anthropic’s Claude Code as high-risk software and will prohibit…
Read moreSam Altman Offered Five Percent of OpenAI to the United States Government in Exchange for Continued Relevance — Bernie Sanders Counter-Offered Fifty Percent Because Apparently This Is a Negotiation Now
🤚 The Open-Palm Offering In what can only be described as the tech industry’s most expensive peace offering since Google tried to buy the Department…
Read moreMark Zuckerberg Fired 8,000 Employees and Told the Survivors That AI Agents Haven’t Progressed as Hoped — The $145 Billion Reorganization Would Like Three to Six More Months
🤚 The Open-Palm Town Hall At an internal town hall on Thursday, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg told his remaining employees something that investors, analysts, and…
Read moreVenice AI Hits a $1 Billion Valuation Because the Man Who Built a Bitcoin Casino Discovered That Privacy-First AI Is Even More Profitable — Three Million Users and $70 Million in Revenue Say the Quiet Part Out Loud
Venice AI, the privacy-focused AI platform founded by early Bitcoin evangelist Erik Voorhees, has closed a $65 million Series A at a $1 billion valuation…
Read moreThe White House Unbanned Anthropic’s Fable and Mythos After 18 Days — Long Enough for Asian Startups to Build Competing Models and Short Enough to Prove the Entire Exercise Was Performative
🤚 The Open-Palm Reversal The Trump administration, apparently tiring of its own regulatory theatrics, has lifted the export restrictions on Anthropic’s Fable 5 and Mythos…
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