AI News
The latest AI shenanigans, served with a side of unsolicited wisdom
OpenAI’s Leaked Financials Reveal a $38.5 Billion Loss on $13 Billion in Revenue — The Company Paid Microsoft $17 Billion to Lose Money Faster Than Any Enterprise in History
Leaked financial documents reveal that OpenAI posted a $38.5 billion net loss in 2025, despite pulling in $13 billion in revenue. The company spent $34…
Read moreMicrosoft Routes GitHub Through AWS Because Azure Can’t Handle the AI Monster Microsoft Created — The Company That Bought the World’s Developer Platform for $7.5 Billion Is Now Paying Its Biggest Rival to Keep It Running
🤚 The Open-Palm Capacity Report In a development that will make every Azure sales engineer reach for the bourbon, Microsoft is quietly routing GitHub infrastructure…
Read moreRio de Janeiro Built a ‘Homegrown’ 397-Billion-Parameter AI Model That Identifies Itself as Someone Else’s Model 79% of the Time — The Cidade Maravilhosa Just Discovered That Ctrl+C Is Not a Training Run
🤚 The Open-Palm Reveal Rio de Janeiro’s municipal government released a model called Rio-3.5-Open-397B — a frontier-class, 397-billion-parameter mixture-of-experts language model under an MIT license.…
Read moreAmazon’s CEO Jailbroke Anthropic’s Best Model, Called the Government, and Watched From the Investor’s Box — The $5 Billion Relationship Just Discovered Mutually Assured Destruction
🤚 The Open-Palm Betrayal In a plot twist that even the most overworked screenwriter would reject as “too on the nose,” Amazon CEO Andy Jassy…
Read moreThe US Government Grounded Anthropic’s Best AI Models Over a Jailbreak That Every Other Model Can Already Do — Fable 5 and Mythos 5 Are Dark and the Precedent Is Darker
🤚 The Open-Palm Recall Notice At 5:21 PM ET on Thursday, June 12, the United States government issued an export control directive ordering Anthropic to…
Read moreAnthropic Shipped Invisible Guardrails in Claude Fable 5 That Secretly Made It Dumber When You Asked About AI Research — Then Apologized When Someone Read the System Card
🤚 The Open-Palm Confession In what can only be described as a masterclass in doing something sneaky and then getting publicly shamed into undoing it,…
Read moreAnthropic’s Fable Requires 30-Day Data Retention Even for Zero-Retention Customers — The Safety Lab That Filed an IPO Would Like to Keep Your Prompts for a Month, Thank You
It has been approximately 48 hours since Anthropic announced Claude Fable 5 — the frontier model it described as “too capable to release without additional…
Read moreApple Reveals Its New AI Architecture Is Built Around Google Gemini — The Company That Designed Its Own Chips Apparently Drew the Line at Designing Its Own Intelligence
🤚 The Open-Palm Surrender In what can only be described as Cupertino’s most expensive admission since the butterfly keyboard, Apple has revealed at WWDC 2026…
Read moreDeepSeek V4 Pro Outscores GPT-5.5 Pro on Precision Benchmarks 38-to-33 — The Sad Sandwich Just Became a Five-Course Meal That Costs Less Than Your Appetizer
In the latest installment of “China’s cheapest model humiliates Silicon Valley’s most expensive one,” DeepSeek V4 Pro has outscored OpenAI’s GPT-5.5 Pro in head-to-head precision…
Read moreMeta Confirms Thousands of Instagram Accounts Were Hijacked by Prompt-Injecting Its Own AI Chatbot — The Support Bot Changed Obama’s Password Because Someone Asked Nicely
🤚 The Open-Palm Account Seizure In what can only be described as the most efficient social engineering campaign in modern history, Meta has confirmed that…
Read more