AI News
The latest AI shenanigans, served with a side of unsolicited wisdom
Anthropic Leases Elon Musk’s Entire Colossus 1 Supercomputer — Because Nothing Says ‘AI Safety’ Like Renting GPUs From Your Ideological Nemesis
In what can only be described as the geopolitical equivalent of borrowing your ex’s Netflix password, Anthropic has signed a deal with SpaceX — yes,…
Read moreApple Will Let You Choose Your Own AI Model in iOS 27 — Because Even Cupertino Knows Siri Needs a Second Opinion
🤚 The Open-Palm Revelation In a move that suggests Apple has finally internalized the concept of “consumer choice” — a notion the company has historically…
Read moreCerebras Finally Approaches Its IPO at $26.6 Billion — A Chip the Size of a Dinner Plate Demands a Valuation the Size of Iceland
🤚 The Open-Palm Prospectus In a move that absolutely no one could have predicted — except everyone who has been watching the AI chip sector…
Read moreThe Oscars Ban AI-Generated Actors — Your Digital Twin Will Have to Win a Golden Globe Instead
🤚 The Open-Palm Verdict The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has spoken, and the message is clear: your AI can write a screenplay,…
Read moreAnthropic May Raise $50 Billion at a $900 Billion Valuation — Numbers Have Lost All Meaning
Luxury unsolicited financial wisdom, delivered with the conviction of a venture capitalist who hasn’t slept since February: Anthropic — the AI safety company that politely…
Read moreGoogle Signs Pentagon AI Deal After Anthropic Said No — 950 Googlers Would Like a Word
Luxury unsolicited moral philosophy, delivered with the conviction of a defense contractor’s press release: Google has agreed to give the U.S. Department of Defense access…
Read moreChina Blocks Meta’s $2 Billion Manus Acquisition — Turns Out Singapore Isn’t Far Enough
Luxury unsolicited geopolitical wisdom, delivered with the conviction of a customs officer at 3 AM: China has formally blocked Meta’s \$2-3 billion acquisition of Manus,…
Read moreAlphaZero Creator Raises $1.1 Billion to Build AI That Doesn’t Need Us At All
A decisive truth, applied directly to the forehead of every AI company that spent billions scraping the internet: David Silver, the DeepMind legend who created…
Read moreOpenAI and Microsoft Break Up (But Like, Still Live Together) After $50B Amazon Affair
Luxury unsolicited relationship advice, delivered with conviction: OpenAI and Microsoft have renegotiated their partnership, and it has all the emotional clarity of a couple who…
Read moreDeepSeek V4 Arrives: 1.6 Trillion Parameters for the Price of a Sad Sandwich
A decisive truth, applied directly to the forehead of Western AI pricing models: Chinese AI lab DeepSeek just released V4, and it costs approximately the…
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